Thursday, 02 May 2013 18:49

Men Cannot Revert

The ever hard question to answer; can ex's go back to being friends? I am speaking as a man and I do not represent the views of all men but I do share the sentiments of someone who is cornered into being friends with someone who I once went out with. To answer the question in general, yes you can actually be friends with your ex but the problem is not really with the being friends part. The problem dwells in the boundaries that need to be set. I cannot really speak for the

women since the situations I encountered are more subjective. A different story is heard for the men. The one thing you would have to realize is the difference between regular friends and lovers. There is usually a thick line that divides the two. It is easier for a couple to be friends but their relationship as lovers is maintained. On the other hand, friends can only act as friends when they are really friends and crossing over to what lovers do will mess up the dynamics of the friendship unless they would be willing to rebrand their relationship.

A lot of things that plays in the dynamics of a relationship allows the couple to develop certain habits that will make good memories and these things are usually limited to what had been developed by the couple in the duration of their relationship. Now whatever memories whether good or bad will be dependent on the couple but let us deal with the reason why men are usually having a hard time to go back to being friends after being in a relationship with someone.

If a relationship ends then certain doors closes which means that big things change. I will no longer delve into the pains of a break up but I would like to look into the dynamics of the usual thinking of a guy when undergoing a break up. Depending on the depth of the initial relationship that got severed there is a certain surge of pride that usually starts after a break up is final. The tendency is to go beyond the usual "going back to normal". The usual reaction of a man is to completely detach himself from the person or go the extreme opposite; always find a reason to be around his ex.

There is that awkward moment when the 2 is left in the same room. What is the more acceptable reaction? The go to response is to just become civil or more commonly known as being friends. The problem is that guys usually cannot revert to friendship because of the said closed doors in terms habits that were formed when the couple is still an item. The now common norm would dictate that some things are no longer allowed since the two are supposed to be friends. Everyone knows that except for the one person that matters… The one that used to be a part of the relationship. The only reason is because men cannot revert.



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